Descending Road - LOOKING FOR A WAFER by Dana W. Paxson

LOOKING FOR A WAFER

2416 CE

“Douglas, hold me.” The woman’s voice crooned in his left ear, and her hand caressed his belly as gently as if she were made of feathers. He looked at her; it was Jan, but her face was older. His body warmed to her; he turned and took her in his arms, awkward with forgetting; she melted away, and now it was Geordie. The beast with white-hot teeth returned to gnaw the growing stump.

He reached for his wafer. Maybe he could look at the images and hold them in his mind, and they’d keep the burning from reaching him and killing the center of him. The fire chewed his rib cage; if only he could keep it out of his head, but it was up to his jaw already.

His fingers slid along the chain at his waist, across and back. Nothing. Where was the wafer — had it moved to his back when he was sleeping? He struggled to swing his arm through the syrupy fluid, reach behind him. Again, nothing.

The red shadow crossed his vision again. Wenrock. “Is something wrong, Douglas? I came back to see if you appreciated the half-shift I gave you. Was it good?” The man played with something in his hand.

Doug started to nod, then stopped himself. The wafer. Wenrock had dipped in and taken it. He couldn’t let Wenrock see his face now. He swam to twist himself away, face the opposite, blank side of the Hole.

“Douglas, that’s not very responsive. Is something wrong? Do we need to let you soak there a little longer? I see that your hand is budding now, but you’ll have to be careful to keep it still and not bump it. Remember?”

Maybe Wenrock didn’t have the wafer, with all the pictures of Doug‘s mother and father, and Jan, and his brothers and sisters, and behind them the little hills with the few remaining trees of Edinburgh. Maybe it just came loose and drifted away while he’d slept. Doug wanted to look down, look around him, but he didn’t want Wenrock to see him move. Slowly he turned, while the beast shredded his facial nerves with glowing steel, he smiled. He wanted Wenrock to die shrieking.

“So did it help?”

He nodded.

“I’ll stop back again next shift,” Wenrock said. He left.

Doug found the wafer under his scrotum. Elated, his fantasies of Wenrock fading out, he fought his way up the three and a half, and the rest was Met all the way, a cloudy ride through a dark heaven.

Story List	SURPRISE ME	Author Page
USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

HOVER Lucida Bright BARE	HOVER Lucida Bright FULL	HOVER Palatino Linotype BARE
HOVER Palatino Linotype FULL	HOVER Times New Roman BARE	HOVER Times New Roman FULL
PAD Arial BARE	PAD Arial FULL	PAD Lucida Bright BARE
PAD Lucida Bright FULL	PAD Times New Roman BARE	PAD Times New Roman FULL


	LOOKING FOR A WAFER 2416 CE “Douglas, hold me.” The woman’s voice crooned in his left ear, and her hand caressed his belly as gently as if she were made of feathers. He looked at her; it was Jan, but her face was older. His body warmed to her; he turned and took her in his arms, awkward with forgetting; she melted away, and now it was Geordie. The beast with white-hot teeth returned to gnaw the growing stump. He reached for his wafer. Maybe he could look at the images and hold them in his mind, and they’d keep the burning from reaching him and killing the center of him. The fire chewed his rib cage; if only he could keep it out of his head, but it was up to his jaw already. His fingers slid along the chain at his waist, across and back. Nothing. Where was the wafer — had it moved to his back when he was sleeping? He struggled to swing his arm through the syrupy fluid, reach behind him. Again, nothing. The red shadow crossed his vision again. Wenrock. “Is something wrong, Douglas? I came back to see if you appreciated the half-shift I gave you. Was it good?” The man played with something in his hand. Doug started to nod, then stopped himself. The wafer. Wenrock had dipped in and taken it. He couldn’t let Wenrock see his face now. He swam to twist himself away, face the opposite, blank side of the Hole. “Douglas, that’s not very responsive. Is something wrong? Do we need to let you soak there a little longer? I see that your hand is budding now, but you’ll have to be careful to keep it still and not bump it. Remember?” Maybe Wenrock didn’t have the wafer, with all the pictures of Doug‘s mother and father, and Jan, and his brothers and sisters, and behind them the little hills with the few remaining trees of Edinburgh. Maybe it just came loose and drifted away while he’d slept. Doug wanted to look down, look around him, but he didn’t want Wenrock to see him move. Slowly he turned, while the beast shredded his facial nerves with glowing steel, he smiled. He wanted Wenrock to die shrieking. “So did it help?” He nodded. “I’ll stop back again next shift,” Wenrock said. He left. Doug found the wafer under his scrotum. Elated, his fantasies of Wenrock fading out, he fought his way up the three and a half, and the rest was Met all the way, a cloudy ride through a dark heaven.