Descending Road - WITHOUT PAYING FOR EXPENSIVE FOOD by Dana W. Paxson

WITHOUT PAYING FOR EXPENSIVE FOOD

1563 4D

Choking out fluid, Andrew opened his eyes from his muffled passage out of innerspace to see once again the understreet where he and Leil and Jeddin had met Onnhasshakh. The great creature had disappeared. He and Jeddin sprawled by the stairwell entrance, both sopping wet from head to toe. Andrew fought his way to his feet and searched the understreet and the stairwell for Leil.

Jeddin stood up and gripped Andrew‘s arm. “She’s gone.”

Andrew shook Jeddin off. She had to be here. Where could she have gone? “Where’s Onnashak?”

“It’s inside me. Just like Turiosten with you.” Jeddin stood and waited.

Andrew let go of Jeddin and massaged his own temples. “And Leil‘s inside it? But that can’t be.” On hands and knees, he searched the floor. It lay as clean as if it had just been swabbed, a few streaks and rivulets of water lying here and there. A gleam of silver under the soft street lighting drew him to the base of the opposite wall. He crawled to it and picked it up: a ring, his gift to Leil on their first anniversary.

He sat up and examined it. Silver and iridium, broad and heavy, it carried the inscription in Astranar lapscript, words Andrew had read and read: PATIENCE DISTILLS SHORT ANGER INTO LONG LOVE.

She had looked at the inscription for a long time when she’d first seen it, and then she’d said to him, smiling, “Read this every day with me.” And he had, for an entire year. If only it had helped him more.

Andrew slowly and tenderly put the ring on his left little finger. Jeddin stood over him. Andrew sat studying the ring’s letters for a long time. She was gone, now, but he’d keep every sliver of memory, every twinge of pain and joy, everything he could. The innerspace dance with Leil, their shared recollections, the visions of his farm and family, surged up fresh in him. He looked up. “I’d like to go to the South Power Complex, where my friends are,” he said softly.

Jeddin looked around at the understreet. “We have to cross under two zones. It’ll be a long walk, but I don’t see a better choice. They’ll still be hunting me, and we’ll both be safer over there.”

They walked, Jeddin leading, on a zigzagging path. It led to a major radial understreet that dwindled off to a point, in a straight and far-stretching line punctuated by long irregular breaks in the ceiling lights. Jeddin kept looking back. Andrew asked, “What’s the matter?”

“It’s not just the ones who are after me,” Jeddin said, “It’s the chance that the City or the corps will be sending troops through here to attack the Complex defenders or infiltrate. Here we’re like fish in a bottle.”

“Are there any parallel ways to take?” Andrew looked back now, remembering the way the beam guns had cleared entire streets during the fighting earlier. Unarmed and unshielded against a beam blast, he and Jeddin would get cooked in a microsecond.

“Not easily. We either get there fast and risky this way, or very slow and safe by zigzags through secondary corridors and streets. And down here the back ways have got collapsed ceilings and ruptured conduits. This main line’s been kept clear. I’d prefer the fast route.”

“All right,” Andrew said, “but let’s watch both ways and stop to listen at crossings.” They set out at a quick walk.

The walls fascinated Andrew. The side streets had been unadorned. Here, undulating patterns of marks ran like visual music along the walls between crossings and recesses, far off into the patches of darkness ahead. As he walked, vague forms coalesced in his mind; time and again he grasped at thoughts that rose like fish from the depths, but they eluded him and vanished. “Jeddin,” he said, “have you been looking at these walls?”

“Yes. Onnhasshakh has been telling me about them. They’re stories from the builders of the City. They’re written in a neuroscript, designed to trigger subconscious reactions, but she tells me these people used their subconscious differently from us. They were more evolved.” Jeddin stopped and looked back.

“So we can’t understand it,” Andrew said.

Jeddin‘s face cleared from concern to calm. “Not unless we can make our brains develop like theirs. And we don’t know what their developmental path was. If we tried, it would be like listening to a signal without understanding most of its coding conventions, or a language without knowing its context. When I let it work on me, I get these flashes of scenery, and then nothing. Trees, fields, underbrush, hills, that’s all.”

What was Turiosten doing? Andrew said to himself, “You in there!”

Are you still acting crazy? I’ve left you alone, you know. I even removed that finger probe. I could have fixed your mood for you as well.

Andrew examined his fingers. They all looked normal, as if the probe had never been there. “No thanks. Can you make any sense of these wall patterns?”

No. They’re just stories your predecessors could read as they walked. We can’t read them through you.

The words formed before Andrew could stop them. “Can you tell me where Leil is?”

Didn’t Onnhasshakh tell you? Didn’t Leil tell you herself?

“Yes, but where’s her body? Did Onnashak take it when she disappeared?”

What do you want with that? She left it behind. And Onnhasshakh didn’t take it.

“Yeah, but where? You leave bodies behind, and it’s just your hosts who eat— oh, no.” The thought that followed sickened Andrew.

Look at it this way. Once a body is buried, it returns its elements to the soil. Then crops grow from that soil, and people eat them. Is that bad? This route is just a little shorter.

Andrew set his jaw and swallowed. “Never mind. I want to talk with Jeddin now. You can go play with Onnashak. Just leave me alone for a while.”

Why did you bother me?

Andrew said nothing.

Jeddin looked over at Andrew. “Were you talking to Turiosten?”

“Yes. I wish I could get rid of her.”

Jeddin‘s eyes gleamed. “Why? They’re fascinating. The things they can do with our body chemistry amaze me. Onnhasshakh and I have been experimenting.”

Jeddin didn’t seem to understand. Andrew said, “Look, life used to be relatively simple — I just had to fight with other people. Now I’ve got this thing kicking my parts around from inside.” He walked a little faster, glancing from street floor to recesses and cross-corridors and streets.

“Why not look at the advantages?” Jeddin held out a hand and counted fingers. “First, you can stay healthy without effort. Second, if you get hurt, it heals you. Third, you can even come back from getting killed, or so Onnhasshakh tells me. Fourth—“

“Fourth, I can have rich nourishing dinners without paying for expensive food. Look, let’s talk about something less depressing, like the joys of war. I was fighting along with Ezzar and Grendel until a wall fell on me. Angie— my headgear saved me.” Andrew remembered Angie‘s words: I’ll be in the next helm.

Jeddin stopped Andrew. “You saw Grendel?”

“Of course. I came into the City with him and Ezzar, and then we stuck together for a while. I got caught in the fighting and joined them. We were going after the Complex when I lost track of them. I’m not even sure they got in.”

Jeddin frowned. “You know, he shouldn’t be down in the City. He—“

Andrew nodded. “He doesn’t like tight places. That’s for sure. But he stayed. Damn, can he fight. Nothing stops him, nothing.” Andrew smiled and shook his head. “They’ve got to be in the Complex now. I want to see them again.”

Story List	SURPRISE ME	Author Page
USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

HOVER Lucida Bright BARE	HOVER Lucida Bright FULL	HOVER Palatino Linotype BARE
HOVER Palatino Linotype FULL	HOVER Times New Roman BARE	HOVER Times New Roman FULL
PAD Arial BARE	PAD Arial FULL	PAD Lucida Bright BARE
PAD Lucida Bright FULL	PAD Times New Roman BARE	PAD Times New Roman FULL


	WITHOUT PAYING FOR EXPENSIVE FOOD 1563 4D Choking out fluid, Andrew opened his eyes from his muffled passage out of innerspace to see once again the understreet where he and Leil and Jeddin had met Onnhasshakh. The great creature had disappeared. He and Jeddin sprawled by the stairwell entrance, both sopping wet from head to toe. Andrew fought his way to his feet and searched the understreet and the stairwell for Leil. Jeddin stood up and gripped Andrew‘s arm. “She’s gone.” Andrew shook Jeddin off. She had to be here. Where could she have gone? “Where’s Onnashak?” “It’s inside me. Just like Turiosten with you.” Jeddin stood and waited. Andrew let go of Jeddin and massaged his own temples. “And Leil‘s inside it? But that can’t be.” On hands and knees, he searched the floor. It lay as clean as if it had just been swabbed, a few streaks and rivulets of water lying here and there. A gleam of silver under the soft street lighting drew him to the base of the opposite wall. He crawled to it and picked it up: a ring, his gift to Leil on their first anniversary. He sat up and examined it. Silver and iridium, broad and heavy, it carried the inscription in Astranar lapscript, words Andrew had read and read: PATIENCE DISTILLS SHORT ANGER INTO LONG LOVE. She had looked at the inscription for a long time when she’d first seen it, and then she’d said to him, smiling, “Read this every day with me.” And he had, for an entire year. If only it had helped him more. Andrew slowly and tenderly put the ring on his left little finger. Jeddin stood over him. Andrew sat studying the ring’s letters for a long time. She was gone, now, but he’d keep every sliver of memory, every twinge of pain and joy, everything he could. The innerspace dance with Leil, their shared recollections, the visions of his farm and family, surged up fresh in him. He looked up. “I’d like to go to the South Power Complex, where my friends are,” he said softly. Jeddin looked around at the understreet. “We have to cross under two zones. It’ll be a long walk, but I don’t see a better choice. They’ll still be hunting me, and we’ll both be safer over there.” They walked, Jeddin leading, on a zigzagging path. It led to a major radial understreet that dwindled off to a point, in a straight and far-stretching line punctuated by long irregular breaks in the ceiling lights. Jeddin kept looking back. Andrew asked, “What’s the matter?” “It’s not just the ones who are after me,” Jeddin said, “It’s the chance that the City or the corps will be sending troops through here to attack the Complex defenders or infiltrate. Here we’re like fish in a bottle.” “Are there any parallel ways to take?” Andrew looked back now, remembering the way the beam guns had cleared entire streets during the fighting earlier. Unarmed and unshielded against a beam blast, he and Jeddin would get cooked in a microsecond. “Not easily. We either get there fast and risky this way, or very slow and safe by zigzags through secondary corridors and streets. And down here the back ways have got collapsed ceilings and ruptured conduits. This main line’s been kept clear. I’d prefer the fast route.” “All right,” Andrew said, “but let’s watch both ways and stop to listen at crossings.” They set out at a quick walk. The walls fascinated Andrew. The side streets had been unadorned. Here, undulating patterns of marks ran like visual music along the walls between crossings and recesses, far off into the patches of darkness ahead. As he walked, vague forms coalesced in his mind; time and again he grasped at thoughts that rose like fish from the depths, but they eluded him and vanished. “Jeddin,” he said, “have you been looking at these walls?” “Yes. Onnhasshakh has been telling me about them. They’re stories from the builders of the City. They’re written in a neuroscript, designed to trigger subconscious reactions, but she tells me these people used their subconscious differently from us. They were more evolved.” Jeddin stopped and looked back. “So we can’t understand it,” Andrew said. Jeddin‘s face cleared from concern to calm. “Not unless we can make our brains develop like theirs. And we don’t know what their developmental path was. If we tried, it would be like listening to a signal without understanding most of its coding conventions, or a language without knowing its context. When I let it work on me, I get these flashes of scenery, and then nothing. Trees, fields, underbrush, hills, that’s all.” What was Turiosten doing? Andrew said to himself, “You in there!” Are you still acting crazy? I’ve left you alone, you know. I even removed that finger probe. I could have fixed your mood for you as well. Andrew examined his fingers. They all looked normal, as if the probe had never been there. “No thanks. Can you make any sense of these wall patterns?” No. They’re just stories your predecessors could read as they walked. We can’t read them through you. The words formed before Andrew could stop them. “Can you tell me where Leil is?” Didn’t Onnhasshakh tell you? Didn’t Leil tell you herself? “Yes, but where’s her body? Did Onnashak take it when she disappeared?” What do you want with that? She left it behind. And Onnhasshakh didn’t take it. “Yeah, but where? You leave bodies behind, and it’s just your hosts who eat— oh, no.” The thought that followed sickened Andrew. Look at it this way. Once a body is buried, it returns its elements to the soil. Then crops grow from that soil, and people eat them. Is that bad? This route is just a little shorter. Andrew set his jaw and swallowed. “Never mind. I want to talk with Jeddin now. You can go play with Onnashak. Just leave me alone for a while.” Why did you bother me? Andrew said nothing. Jeddin looked over at Andrew. “Were you talking to Turiosten?” “Yes. I wish I could get rid of her.” Jeddin‘s eyes gleamed. “Why? They’re fascinating. The things they can do with our body chemistry amaze me. Onnhasshakh and I have been experimenting.” Jeddin didn’t seem to understand. Andrew said, “Look, life used to be relatively simple — I just had to fight with other people. Now I’ve got this thing kicking my parts around from inside.” He walked a little faster, glancing from street floor to recesses and cross-corridors and streets. “Why not look at the advantages?” Jeddin held out a hand and counted fingers. “First, you can stay healthy without effort. Second, if you get hurt, it heals you. Third, you can even come back from getting killed, or so Onnhasshakh tells me. Fourth—“ “Fourth, I can have rich nourishing dinners without paying for expensive food. Look, let’s talk about something less depressing, like the joys of war. I was fighting along with Ezzar and Grendel until a wall fell on me. Angie— my headgear saved me.” Andrew remembered Angie‘s words: I’ll be in the next helm. Jeddin stopped Andrew. “You saw Grendel?” “Of course. I came into the City with him and Ezzar, and then we stuck together for a while. I got caught in the fighting and joined them. We were going after the Complex when I lost track of them. I’m not even sure they got in.” Jeddin frowned. “You know, he shouldn’t be down in the City. He—“ Andrew nodded. “He doesn’t like tight places. That’s for sure. But he stayed. Damn, can he fight. Nothing stops him, nothing.” Andrew smiled and shook his head. “They’ve got to be in the Complex now. I want to see them again.”