Descending Road - FERDINAND AND JEDDIN by Dana W. Paxson

FERDINAND AND JEDDIN

1529 4D

“Ferdinand.” Silky voice slides through my redness, coils gently in my mind. Jeddin. Tears run down, fall off my face to the Kuklagrad tabletop. His hand warms my shoulder. He sits beside me and looks me full in the face. Pulsing currents of ugly fall away from me through the bedrock floor; so much of me rises free that I may float to the dark ceiling in joy.

Jeddin‘s eyes, dark and brilliant and huge, fill me. I put my arms around him and he holds me to warm me from the Beefheart and the Conosoid and what else chills my blood.

I say his name.

“Yes,” he says.

“You’re a fool, Jeddin,” I tell him. “You can’t stay here. They’ll find you again and they’ll burn you to ashes.”

“Yes,” he says. He holds me.

“You don’t care, do you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t help it. I find pain, and I have to go to it. That’s why I come to you.”

“Domaro‘s dead. His name was on our memwall an hour ago, in jaSRann and dzoijin shades, in the gray ashes there.”

Jeddin looks away, his eyes down. “I heard him die. The Hounds killed him.”

My heart skids, stops, starts again.

Jeddin stares at his hands. “Dzoijin. Then Nazilan loved him too – that’s her color for death.”

“Jeddin, go. Don’t stay here with me. I’ll be all right. The Hounds are everywhere. Bujilla said two of them left here at halflight.”

“Ferdinand. I need a favor from you.” Jeddin‘s voice softens.

“What?” My gut tightens.

“First, find the Lady. Tell her I’ll need her soon.”

“You’re letting them catch you?”

“No. But they will. You’re the only one who can change through innerspace and the Archives for the rest of it.”

“What’s the rest?”

“I need to know who or what lived on Tarnus before the Colonists came. The Archive has blocks on all that. Go in and get past the blocks, and then come here again. I’ll find you.”

“But you’ll be dead!”

“Yes. But I’ll find you. Just find the Lady for me.”

I embrace him again. “Please don’t do this.”

“It isn’t a choice for me. It’s a curse.” He breaks free and stands, sniffs the air. “Get out the service tunnel, Ferdinand. They’re coming back.”

He’s gone so fast I forget which way he went. A soft scuff in the street outside: I dive for the service burrow.

Story List	SURPRISE ME	Author Page
USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

HOVER Lucida Bright BARE	HOVER Lucida Bright FULL	HOVER Palatino Linotype BARE
HOVER Palatino Linotype FULL	HOVER Times New Roman BARE	HOVER Times New Roman FULL
PAD Arial BARE	PAD Arial FULL	PAD Lucida Bright BARE
PAD Lucida Bright FULL	PAD Times New Roman BARE	PAD Times New Roman FULL


	FERDINAND AND JEDDIN 1529 4D “Ferdinand.” Silky voice slides through my redness, coils gently in my mind. Jeddin. Tears run down, fall off my face to the Kuklagrad tabletop. His hand warms my shoulder. He sits beside me and looks me full in the face. Pulsing currents of ugly fall away from me through the bedrock floor; so much of me rises free that I may float to the dark ceiling in joy. Jeddin‘s eyes, dark and brilliant and huge, fill me. I put my arms around him and he holds me to warm me from the Beefheart and the Conosoid and what else chills my blood. I say his name. “Yes,” he says. “You’re a fool, Jeddin,” I tell him. “You can’t stay here. They’ll find you again and they’ll burn you to ashes.” “Yes,” he says. He holds me. “You don’t care, do you?” “It doesn’t matter. I can’t help it. I find pain, and I have to go to it. That’s why I come to you.” “Domaro‘s dead. His name was on our memwall an hour ago, in jaSRann and dzoijin shades, in the gray ashes there.” Jeddin looks away, his eyes down. “I heard him die. The Hounds killed him.” My heart skids, stops, starts again. Jeddin stares at his hands. “Dzoijin. Then Nazilan loved him too – that’s her color for death.” “Jeddin, go. Don’t stay here with me. I’ll be all right. The Hounds are everywhere. Bujilla said two of them left here at halflight.” “Ferdinand. I need a favor from you.” Jeddin‘s voice softens. “What?” My gut tightens. “First, find the Lady. Tell her I’ll need her soon.” “You’re letting them catch you?” “No. But they will. You’re the only one who can change through innerspace and the Archives for the rest of it.” “What’s the rest?” “I need to know who or what lived on Tarnus before the Colonists came. The Archive has blocks on all that. Go in and get past the blocks, and then come here again. I’ll find you.” “But you’ll be dead!” “Yes. But I’ll find you. Just find the Lady for me.” I embrace him again. “Please don’t do this.” “It isn’t a choice for me. It’s a curse.” He breaks free and stands, sniffs the air. “Get out the service tunnel, Ferdinand. They’re coming back.” He’s gone so fast I forget which way he went. A soft scuff in the street outside: I dive for the service burrow.