Descending Road - OR MAYBE KEEP QUIET by Dana W. Paxson

OR MAYBE KEEP QUIET

1563 4D

The dream took Ezzar up on a glass lift from where she sat, up through transparent layers of the City and out through the surface to a dark cobalt sky embraced by the stiff arms of huge evergreens, over a soft bed of broad-bladed needle-leaves. Rennie leaned against the trunk of a great tree, the sap of it shining just above his head in a blade of Lulith‘s moonlight that furrowed his short pale hair.

He turned and held out his hands to her. She came and he folded those familiar ghost-white arms around her, twice around it seemed, and he held her close against him as gently as a warm steady wind, the way he always had.

“You came here,” he said in a rumble she always felt in her chest, “and I’m so glad.”

“But you’re dead,” she said. “Didn’t you just disappear? I’m dreaming you back to me, I know that.”

His soft laugh made her head bounce against him. “You are? Then why am I here with you and your dream?”

She tilted her head back to look up at him. “Don’t tease me with that. I know this is just because I want you back, and I’ll get you any way I can.”

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” he murmured. “I wanted to be sure you didn’t die too. Not yet.”

“Don’t do this to me!” Ezzar squirmed away from him. “I’d come with you any time, anywhere. I’ll stay here if it means I can have you again.”

But his body started to glow, right in the middle where the beam had hit him. In a voice full of wonder he said, “I’m not just ending, like I thought I would. I’m going on, through the Gate. Good-bye, Ezzar.”

She cried out, “No!” and he turned into a man of light and shone away into the dusk among the trees with a flash. “No!” she cried again, “No!”

Arms came around her again, and she relaxed for a heartbeat, and then everything changed, and she stared into the dark eyes of a man in a crowded noisy corridor with the smells of bodies and blood and burn, and she stiffened and lashed at him in panic.

He fell back. She stared around her; Deen sat beside her on the floor at her left, Marra at her right, and returning to bend over her, concern deepening the scars on his face, was Andrew.

“Ezzar,” he said gently, “It’s all right. It’s just me. I heard about Grendel and I came to find you. Can I sit by you?”

She nodded, sorrow and relief and pain and exhaustion mingling in streaks within her. Deen moved aside. Andrew sat down beside Ezzar, and then Jeddin stood where Andrew had been. “You’re both here? You’re both okay?”

Jeddin smiled. “There’s a lot to tell you. But right now you should just get some rest and comfort.” He looked around at the others. “Why don’t we all get up out of here and go where we can sit and lie down and wash and eat and do ordinary things for a while? And maybe talk about all the things we’ve been doing? Or maybe keep quiet about them?”

Ezzar looked around, and the smells and noises boiled up over her nose and ears. “Yeah, I think it’s time for that.” She held out a hand to Andrew, and he drew her to her feet.

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USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

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	OR MAYBE KEEP QUIET 1563 4D The dream took Ezzar up on a glass lift from where she sat, up through transparent layers of the City and out through the surface to a dark cobalt sky embraced by the stiff arms of huge evergreens, over a soft bed of broad-bladed needle-leaves. Rennie leaned against the trunk of a great tree, the sap of it shining just above his head in a blade of Lulith‘s moonlight that furrowed his short pale hair. He turned and held out his hands to her. She came and he folded those familiar ghost-white arms around her, twice around it seemed, and he held her close against him as gently as a warm steady wind, the way he always had. “You came here,” he said in a rumble she always felt in her chest, “and I’m so glad.” “But you’re dead,” she said. “Didn’t you just disappear? I’m dreaming you back to me, I know that.” His soft laugh made her head bounce against him. “You are? Then why am I here with you and your dream?” She tilted her head back to look up at him. “Don’t tease me with that. I know this is just because I want you back, and I’ll get you any way I can.” “I just wanted to say goodbye,” he murmured. “I wanted to be sure you didn’t die too. Not yet.” “Don’t do this to me!” Ezzar squirmed away from him. “I’d come with you any time, anywhere. I’ll stay here if it means I can have you again.” But his body started to glow, right in the middle where the beam had hit him. In a voice full of wonder he said, “I’m not just ending, like I thought I would. I’m going on, through the Gate. Good-bye, Ezzar.” She cried out, “No!” and he turned into a man of light and shone away into the dusk among the trees with a flash. “No!” she cried again, “No!” Arms came around her again, and she relaxed for a heartbeat, and then everything changed, and she stared into the dark eyes of a man in a crowded noisy corridor with the smells of bodies and blood and burn, and she stiffened and lashed at him in panic. He fell back. She stared around her; Deen sat beside her on the floor at her left, Marra at her right, and returning to bend over her, concern deepening the scars on his face, was Andrew. “Ezzar,” he said gently, “It’s all right. It’s just me. I heard about Grendel and I came to find you. Can I sit by you?” She nodded, sorrow and relief and pain and exhaustion mingling in streaks within her. Deen moved aside. Andrew sat down beside Ezzar, and then Jeddin stood where Andrew had been. “You’re both here? You’re both okay?” Jeddin smiled. “There’s a lot to tell you. But right now you should just get some rest and comfort.” He looked around at the others. “Why don’t we all get up out of here and go where we can sit and lie down and wash and eat and do ordinary things for a while? And maybe talk about all the things we’ve been doing? Or maybe keep quiet about them?” Ezzar looked around, and the smells and noises boiled up over her nose and ears. “Yeah, I think it’s time for that.” She held out a hand to Andrew, and he drew her to her feet.