Descending Road - A JOY HE SUPPRESSES by Dana W. Paxson

A JOY HE SUPPRESSES

1560 4D

From trunk to trunk, pillar to pillar, I move slowly, counting: ten paces, twenty, thirty, over ground burled with cobbles of roots writhing like tormented bodies from the black mold between each tree and its nearest neighbor. Tiny pinpricks of light shine above me, like stars hinting at a sunlit sky somewhere far out of reach. The persistent, gentle slope down to my right tells me that the southward drainage leads that way, away from the three-thousand meter wall of the South Fall.

No light or slope or regularity to the placement of the trees helps me find the stream – I step in water and hear the soft splash. If I follow this rivulet, it will lead me south, deeper into the continental Sirathen forest, and I will lose my way. I move on across the stream and continue, keeping the upslope on my left. This may help me, but if a major river is behind me, the stream may also lead me around to the south, so I try to keep some sense of my starting point.

It’s futile. Hours have passed. I stop, sensing the fading of day, and sit down with my back to a tall buttressing root rising from the earth to blend into a giant scabbed trunk. I have no idea what direction I’m taking. I am lost. My food pack is small, and I unwrap some tuber and eat it, wishing for some brew to unstick it from my throat. The water bottle helps me out a bit.

By now, Gindi is reporting my disappearance to Shiolin, noting the shock and disbelief in her eyes. Gindiarsil is not my friend. He betrayed me.

“Shiolin,” he’ll say. “He’s gone.”

“Who?” she’ll ask.

“Oh, Shiolin. Didn’t you know?”

“Who are you talking about?” Her voice rises with a tinge of fear, as if she already knows.

He shakes his head, his face bowed, looking down, laying on a good act. “Diamann.” He waits.

Her horrified gasp fills him with a joy he suppresses. “Diamann! No! How can – where did he go? Oh, Gindi.” She comes to him and his arms open to her, not too fast, but readily. She presses the side of her head against his chest and puts her arms around him.

Slowly, gently, his hands touch her back. He strokes her. “They say he ran south to Ninth Crevasse. It looks as if he’s heading for Sirathen.”

“But why – what did he – what did they say about him? Why would he run?”

“Shiolin, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this – “

“Gindi, just say it.” She turns her face up to him, and her back tightens under his hands.

“He’s gone with the andros. The renegades. There was one andro woman…" He waits, letting her guess the thing he lies to her.

“Thringe! No!” Shiolin thrusts herself back; Gindiarsil lets her go. She trembles, anger in her eyes.

He nods ever so slightly. Then, with deep satisfaction, he feels her sobs through his whole being, and he knows that she will come to him.

I should have sensed it, but I thought that he was my true friend. That’s why I told Gindi the words for which I will die.

Story List	SURPRISE ME	Author Page
USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

HOVER Lucida Bright BARE	HOVER Lucida Bright FULL	HOVER Palatino Linotype BARE
HOVER Palatino Linotype FULL	HOVER Times New Roman BARE	HOVER Times New Roman FULL
PAD Arial BARE	PAD Arial FULL	PAD Lucida Bright BARE
PAD Lucida Bright FULL	PAD Times New Roman BARE	PAD Times New Roman FULL


	A JOY HE SUPPRESSES 1560 4D From trunk to trunk, pillar to pillar, I move slowly, counting: ten paces, twenty, thirty, over ground burled with cobbles of roots writhing like tormented bodies from the black mold between each tree and its nearest neighbor. Tiny pinpricks of light shine above me, like stars hinting at a sunlit sky somewhere far out of reach. The persistent, gentle slope down to my right tells me that the southward drainage leads that way, away from the three-thousand meter wall of the South Fall. No light or slope or regularity to the placement of the trees helps me find the stream – I step in water and hear the soft splash. If I follow this rivulet, it will lead me south, deeper into the continental Sirathen forest, and I will lose my way. I move on across the stream and continue, keeping the upslope on my left. This may help me, but if a major river is behind me, the stream may also lead me around to the south, so I try to keep some sense of my starting point. It’s futile. Hours have passed. I stop, sensing the fading of day, and sit down with my back to a tall buttressing root rising from the earth to blend into a giant scabbed trunk. I have no idea what direction I’m taking. I am lost. My food pack is small, and I unwrap some tuber and eat it, wishing for some brew to unstick it from my throat. The water bottle helps me out a bit. By now, Gindi is reporting my disappearance to Shiolin, noting the shock and disbelief in her eyes. Gindiarsil is not my friend. He betrayed me. “Shiolin,” he’ll say. “He’s gone.” “Who?” she’ll ask. “Oh, Shiolin. Didn’t you know?” “Who are you talking about?” Her voice rises with a tinge of fear, as if she already knows. He shakes his head, his face bowed, looking down, laying on a good act. “Diamann.” He waits. Her horrified gasp fills him with a joy he suppresses. “Diamann! No! How can – where did he go? Oh, Gindi.” She comes to him and his arms open to her, not too fast, but readily. She presses the side of her head against his chest and puts her arms around him. Slowly, gently, his hands touch her back. He strokes her. “They say he ran south to Ninth Crevasse. It looks as if he’s heading for Sirathen.” “But why – what did he – what did they say about him? Why would he run?” “Shiolin, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this – “ “Gindi, just say it.” She turns her face up to him, and her back tightens under his hands. “He’s gone with the andros. The renegades. There was one andro woman…" He waits, letting her guess the thing he lies to her. “Thringe! No!” Shiolin thrusts herself back; Gindiarsil lets her go. She trembles, anger in her eyes. He nods ever so slightly. Then, with deep satisfaction, he feels her sobs through his whole being, and he knows that she will come to him. I should have sensed it, but I thought that he was my true friend. That’s why I told Gindi the words for which I will die.