Descending Road - SUBVOKE THAT FOR ME by Dana W. Paxson

SUBVOKE THAT FOR ME

1563 4D

Angie stops , and her voice changes back a little. “It was a long time ago.“

You were him? That story was worse than this war.

“Oh yes. I was. I was a terror." Angie‘s voice seems to purr slightly. “But then the City‘s walls – we were all alive together, like one being. They loved me after that.“

If your story is true, why don’t we know about it? How did everything change back again?

“Oh, that. You mean, you think it happened in your world?“

I get annoyed. Why are you making this stuff up? I thought you were telling me about you.

“I was. Weren’t you listening?“

So you were lying to me.

“No!" Angie‘s voice breaks. “I was a terror, I told you. The children turned me in. The City caught me again. They broke me into pieces. I created all that wall world part for myself, just so I could survive. That’s my world from back then, and it’s real, inside me. If I lose it, I lose everything except the worst parts of me. If I keep it, I feel better.“

I think about this for a while. I’d like to think I helped Essa, and Jackie B, and other people. “Okay. I guess it’s not lies, just comforting yourself.”

“It’s my world. I create my world all the time.“

“What world are you in now?”

“I’m here with you. Our realities are close together right now.“

“That’s good, cause you’ve been keeping me alive.”

Not for too much longer. Angie switches to subvoice, warning me.

“Tomas?” Nadienne! I jerk my gaze up. Her helm is slightly askew around her streaked, grimed face.

I stand up and hug her. Her wiry body trembles and shakes. I ask, “You okay? You look terrible.”

“Yeah. We cut through and found the rest of your people. I thought you were dead. Who were you talking to?”

“Just Angie. She’s been great to have around.”

Nadienne smiles. “So’s mine. He’s a sweetie. Saved my ass twice.”

We walk hand in hand away from the tables. Low in my ear, Angie says, “Tomas, you have to dump me off now. If you want to talk to me in another helm about all this, just tell her Antraiji Divanzian Quarnau. Subvoke that for me.”

I tell it back in my throat.

“That’s right. Never forget.“

“Angie, I won’t ever.”

Nadienne looks at me. “Your helm? Something wrong?”

“Yes. She’s damaged. I have to leave her behind.”

“We’ll get back to Nexi‘s and get you another one. Wait. Why are you– look, it’s just a helm.”

“Give me a minute, Nadienne.”

She stops looking at me and we walk together. I subvoke to Angie, I’ll write the ashes for you. Tell me your name, your old name.

She does. Jono: a man’s name, a very old name. Then she subvokes, “Thanks, Tomas. I wish we could tell stories together.“

So do I. Maybe outside all this world. I look up and around at the stone walls and ceilings, and sniff the thick air.

“Maybe. Take me off now and toss me in that shaft. Goodbye.“

Goodbye. I sign to Nadienne, move to a doorway, and unstrap the helm. I cast it into the dark opening where the shaft falls through. We wait, hand in hand. Light blooms briefly, and a distant thump comes from the doorway.

When we go on, Nadienne looks at my wet face, and her eyes are soft and sorrowful. “Smoke ahead,” I say. “Isn’t the fighting done here, yet?”

“Tomas,” she says. “It’s okay. Just hang on.”

Story List	SURPRISE ME	Author Page
USER SURVEY	PUZZLE ME	MAKE ELM MARK

HOVER Lucida Bright BARE	HOVER Lucida Bright FULL	HOVER Palatino Linotype BARE
HOVER Palatino Linotype FULL	HOVER Times New Roman BARE	HOVER Times New Roman FULL
PAD Arial BARE	PAD Arial FULL	PAD Lucida Bright BARE
PAD Lucida Bright FULL	PAD Times New Roman BARE	PAD Times New Roman FULL


	SUBVOKE THAT FOR ME 1563 4D Angie stops , and her voice changes back a little. “It was a long time ago.“ You were him? That story was worse than this war. “Oh yes. I was. I was a terror." Angie‘s voice seems to purr slightly. “But then the City‘s walls – we were all alive together, like one being. They loved me after that.“ If your story is true, why don’t we know about it? How did everything change back again? “Oh, that. You mean, you think it happened in your world?“ I get annoyed. Why are you making this stuff up? I thought you were telling me about you. “I was. Weren’t you listening?“ So you were lying to me. “No!" Angie‘s voice breaks. “I was a terror, I told you. The children turned me in. The City caught me again. They broke me into pieces. I created all that wall world part for myself, just so I could survive. That’s my world from back then, and it’s real, inside me. If I lose it, I lose everything except the worst parts of me. If I keep it, I feel better.“ I think about this for a while. I’d like to think I helped Essa, and Jackie B, and other people. “Okay. I guess it’s not lies, just comforting yourself.” “It’s my world. I create my world all the time.“ “What world are you in now?” “I’m here with you. Our realities are close together right now.“ “That’s good, cause you’ve been keeping me alive.” Not for too much longer. Angie switches to subvoice, warning me. “Tomas?” Nadienne! I jerk my gaze up. Her helm is slightly askew around her streaked, grimed face. I stand up and hug her. Her wiry body trembles and shakes. I ask, “You okay? You look terrible.” “Yeah. We cut through and found the rest of your people. I thought you were dead. Who were you talking to?” “Just Angie. She’s been great to have around.” Nadienne smiles. “So’s mine. He’s a sweetie. Saved my ass twice.” We walk hand in hand away from the tables. Low in my ear, Angie says, “Tomas, you have to dump me off now. If you want to talk to me in another helm about all this, just tell her Antraiji Divanzian Quarnau. Subvoke that for me.” I tell it back in my throat. “That’s right. Never forget.“ “Angie, I won’t ever.” Nadienne looks at me. “Your helm? Something wrong?” “Yes. She’s damaged. I have to leave her behind.” “We’ll get back to Nexi‘s and get you another one. Wait. Why are you– look, it’s just a helm.” “Give me a minute, Nadienne.” She stops looking at me and we walk together. I subvoke to Angie, I’ll write the ashes for you. Tell me your name, your old name. She does. Jono: a man’s name, a very old name. Then she subvokes, “Thanks, Tomas. I wish we could tell stories together.“ So do I. Maybe outside all this world. I look up and around at the stone walls and ceilings, and sniff the thick air. “Maybe. Take me off now and toss me in that shaft. Goodbye.“ Goodbye. I sign to Nadienne, move to a doorway, and unstrap the helm. I cast it into the dark opening where the shaft falls through. We wait, hand in hand. Light blooms briefly, and a distant thump comes from the doorway. When we go on, Nadienne looks at my wet face, and her eyes are soft and sorrowful. “Smoke ahead,” I say. “Isn’t the fighting done here, yet?” “Tomas,” she says. “It’s okay. Just hang on.”